Reality Check: Can Your Fantasies Come to Life?
Fantasies often don't need to go any further than your imagination. They're safe; you can take them in the direction you want - and if they get too wild, you can make them go away completely.
You can't do that with a real person or real memories.
Which is why when you're having satisfying, if vanilla, sex and you think about mentioning that crazy fantasy you have involving a cabana boy and coconut oil, you blush and think, "I can't do that."
But what if you try out a fantasy in real life and it's everything you dreamed it would be? Here's how to make it happen - and limit the fear and embarrassment!
Talk It Over
Test the waters in inactive ways first. Books, videos, or even just talking about what you'd like to do is often sexier - not to mention safer and less stressful - than actually picking up that lonely trucker for a threesome or having sex on your boss's desk.
If you're already feeling nervous about letting your lover in on your dirtiest thoughts, maybe you don't want to start by suggesting something requiring electrical cords, exotic foods, and numerous costume changes. The trick to trying out your wildest fantasies is to first tame them. Instead of focusing on a specific scenario, think about what the emotional trigger is that gets you so hot. Is it voyeurism? Force? Anonymity? You can pin your partner's arms above his or her head tonight and work up to the fuzzy handcuffs.
If your partner is a little shy about shunning convention, it's probably driven by a fear that things will get freaky and out of control. Make it clear that if things get uncomfortable, you'll both call it quits. And for heaven's sake, if your sweetie does say stop, be cool about it. Keeping it low key will make it easier to try again later.
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