Make It a Good Good-Bye

Breakups hurt. And the breakup conversation and its aftermath are often really painful. But you have some control over how painful the split is for both of you.

Even if you're relieved and happy to be free, it can be hard to know that a relationship you put so much time and effort into didn't work out in the end. No one likes to feel that their love and affection were wasted.

Keep It Calm
The breakup conversation can be really tricky. Of course you need to give good reasons why the relationship didn't work for you. And maybe you want to share some frustrations you had. But keep your cool!

No matter how tempted you are to tell your ex-sweetheart how awful he or she was to you, keep your anger in check. Try not to express your disgust at your ex's fatal personality flaws that led to the breakup.

Keep It Kind
Follow the golden rule. Let's hope you know you're not perfect and have some room for growth in dating habits. Would you want your ex to tell you in a nasty way how terrible you are at socializing, deep discussions, sense of humor, sex, clear communication, or even cooking and cleaning?

Remember, these breakup rules:

  • No yelling or name calling.
  • No criticizing their physical looks.
  • Don't trash talk their family and friends.
  • No complaints about what they did in the bedroom.
  • Do apologize for any damage you caused to the relationship.
  • Let them know some things you gained by spending time together.
  • Wish them well, and mean it.

Show respect for the person you cared about, even if you have very little caring left. That's how you would want your ex to treat you, right?

As you part, remind your ex of some of the good things you shared. Tell them some things you appreciate about them.

Keep It Respectful
Beyond the breakup talk, there will be the times when you remember your ex with bitterness. Try to keep that to yourself or talk about those scars only with good friends, and only once or twice. No drunk texting your ex with what-ifs or blame. That will only make you both feel worse.

To move on, you've got to forgive yourself and forgive your ex. And remember that eventually moving on will feel marvelous. You've just got to get there with grace …so start your journey to healing with a good good-bye.

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