What a Flirt! (But That's OK)
Even if you're attached, being a flirt isn't necessarily a bad thing. That teasing give-and-take makes you feel good!
Engaging in light-hearted banter when you're flirting shows a certain level of confidence. In the process, you're saying that you know you have a little bit (at least!) of power over the object of your flirtation. It also says that you find your flirty friend attractive, even if you're not trying to do anything about it. So it makes the other person feel good too!
At times, it can involve a strange dynamic. Women sometimes flirt with a guy when they think he's safely just a friend. If she's feeling a bit ignored by her man, she might enjoy the chance to emphasize her sexiness. She thinks she doesn't have to worry about the guy thinking she's coming on to him. Yeah, that's what she thinks.
He, on the other hand, thinks, "Woah! I didn't know she was attracted to me! Cool!" So he flirts back.
Then she feels even more self-confident and attractive. Which--duh!--makes the guy more attracted to her confidence and sensuality.
Guys usually flirt with more intention. They're testing the waters. They want to know if she's interested. So if she joins in the social intercourse with him, he thinks he's got a chance at the other kind. Yes, that's what he thinks.
So, the point is that flirting can improve anyone's self-image, as long as it doesn't go too far. When it does, then it can be disastrous.
For example, a married woman might think she's engaging in harmless flirting with a guy she's friends with. He's knows she's off limits, she thinks, so she feels freer with the teasing talk. Then if he makes a blatant move to initiate something more sexual, she's caught by surprise. Depending on her level of attraction, she might succumb to his attention or rebuff him in an embarrassingly harsh way.
When a guy gets pulled into the tempting tease, he might not recognize that his female friend is simply trying on her sexy vibe. He might start fantasizing about a sexual relationship with the woman, and feel totally awkward when the reality of the harmless intent hits home.
So the next time you find yourself getting pulled into a flirting frenzy, move cautiously. Holding back a bit can't hurt. You can send a message that you're just playing, or give your partner in crime a chance to step up the chase. Have fun!
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