Girlfriend's Mom In the Way

Q: Me and my girlfriend have been going out for three years. She lived with me for a year because her mom kicked her out, but now her mom wants to spend all this time with her. Now my girlfriend says that she needs time away from me, and I know it's because her mom is badmouthing me. I really love her a lot, and she says she loves me, but she says she doesn't want to get back together with me. I know what her mom is doing because she did it before. What should I do? -- Jeff, 20

Dr. Susan: Have you considered that your girlfriend's mother has, in fact, convinced her that you're not the right boyfriend for her? I'm not denying that her mother is badmouthing you, as you say. But perhaps whatever arguments she is using actually make sense to your girlfriend and have made her change her mind about you? I doubt that her mother would be able to convince her if she wasn't ready to be convinced. After a year of living with you, she can probably make up her own mind about your personality and character. All you can do is back off and let your girlfriend do what feels right for her, however she came to that decision.

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