Q: My girlfriend and I have been dating for almost 2 years. Recently, I have been noticing that she turns her phone away from me when she's texting, and she also won't let me even touch her phone. She goes through my phone all the time, has my Facebook password and knows my bank account information, but I gave it to her for personal reasons. Plus I have nothing to hide. Something doesn't add up. The other day I caught her calling another guy "baby" over text but didn't confront her until last night. She said she'd never text him again. I asked her today if she has talked to him. She told me that he constantly texts her but she only replied once. "I love you, baby" is all I hear from her because she knows I'm mad about it. What else should I do? -- Matt, 18
Dr. Susan: Let her know that you're fast losing trust in her. Why would she call another man "baby," unless it means something? Does she habitually use that endearment on all men? I am reluctant to believe the "I only replied once" line. Obviously, you only saw ONE text, because she hides the rest. Sneaking into her phone isn't a good idea, but you have to wonder why she's so private when you are the opposite. You are right to be concerned. Keep your eyes open, and keep adding up the things that don't add up. You are too young to commit yourself to someone unworthy of your trust.
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Advice for Her
Advice for Him
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.