Military Man Is So Lonely
Q: My girlfriend and I are both active duty military and are separated by thousands of miles. I love her but not seeing her tears me apart. The earliest I can see her is eight months from now. Other than calling her, is there anything I can do to ease the loneliness I feel? -- Scott, 20
Dr. Susan: Such a long separation must be very hard for both of you. Calling is good, writing letters (or emails) is nice because then each of you can read them anytime. Although it sounds like something a kid might do, how about actually marking off the days on a calendar so you can see how you're getting closer to your reunion? When you do talk, make some specific plans to look forward to (not just the kissy stuff, which goes without saying). You might find this sappy, but maybe you could keep a journal of your feelings, or a photo journal of a lot of little happenings to share when you get together. Also, consider opening up a little to a selected guy or two, perhaps an older one who has been through this sort of thing. Sharing sometimes helps. Besides that, keep busy so you're not thinking about what (and who) you're missing. When this part of your life is done, you're going to feel so good that you made it.
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Advice for Her
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Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.