Crush on a Stranger
Q: I have a crush on this girl I met recently. We've never spoken but only walked past each other at school. I don't know how I can approach her to tell her my feelings - never done it before - and I'm kinda scared. We are not in the same major, though, and I don't see her around on campus often, but I know which sorority house she lives in. -- Frank, 18
Dr. Susan: Crushes are common. People have them on movie stars, their dental hygienists, their teachers, and girls they pass in halls at school. Just don't take those infatuated feelings too seriously until you get to know the girl. Don't even consider telling her your "feelings," and don't stalk her in her sorority house. If you happen to see her again, just try to start an ordinary conversation and see what happens. And meanwhile, join some clubs and meet as many women as you can. It's always a better idea to fall for someone you've at least spoken to at some length, than for a virtually total stranger. That way you'll know your feelings have some chance of being reciprocated.
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Advice for Her
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Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.