Is This "Mistake" Fixable?
Q: My long-term girlfriend has been at basic training for about three months. I went to college and eagerly awaited her return, and have easily stayed faithful the entire time she has been gone. Until recently. With less than two weeks until she returns, I drank too much with a girl that I just met. Needless to say we ended up having sex. I really love my girlfriend and am ashamed that I ruined her homecoming. All I want is to stay with her, and somehow have her forgive me. What should I do when she gets back? -- Steve, 19
Dr. Susan: This drunken escapade has shown us that the time limit of your fidelity is two and half months. How on earth will you manage if your girlfriend is away for much longer than that? Are you sure that you're being fair to both of you by committing to monogamy while you're so young and horny? I don't know if she'll forgive you. If she's been a good girl herself, then you've realized one of her greatest fears by cheating on her already. All you can do is be honest and remorseful, put yourself at her mercy, decide how you're both going to handle upcoming separations, and seriously consider NOT drinking with strange women. Ever.
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Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.