Try a Threesome?
Q: My wife and I are high-school sweethearts. I love her and still find her very sexy. However, we have never experienced another person's touch. Sometimes I wonder if it might be a good thing to try to spice things up by adding a third party. She seems open to the idea but we are leery of how we might feel after. Is there a way to introduce this without finding out too late that we made a mistake? -- Gregg, 36
Dr. Susan: Short answer: No. You can't easily include a third person into your marriage and just "try it out" to see how you feel. Perhaps, if both of you are willing to risk having made a mistake. . . . In my experience, open marriages have severe drawbacks. It's not like you're asking if a realistic blow-up doll be brought into your bed. It would be a real woman or man (are you equally open to the third party being a guy?). Then again, just because I know the power of jealousy and the poor track record of such experiments doesn't mean you shouldn't do more research. It's so hard to trust anyone at all, much less a total stranger who you would be using just to spice up your own relationship.
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Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.