Does Silence Mean Go Away?
Q: My girlfriend and I have been together for a while. I am in the Marine Corps and just got back from Iraq. You would think that she would be happy that I'm back, and to an extent she is, but she always seems like she's mad at me or upset. When I ask her what's wrong, she just says nothing and turns away. Do you think that she is ready to break up and she just isn't saying anything? -- Mark, 24
Dr. Susan: Short answer: probably yes. If she's always mad or upset and won't tell you why, then she may have someone else. Or after this time apart, she is simply having a hard time readjusting to the real you, instead of the imagined you. I don't see how you can continue a relationship with someone who simply turns away when you ask them something important. Try again to talk to her about your worries, gently, and be prepared to accept a painful answer.
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Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.