Stress Is Messing With Them
Q: I need advice because I have a fiance who is attending college. Her schooling is consuming her whole life right now and it is starting to reflect in our relationship. We have talked and we both are madly in love and still want to get married, but we also both agree that the stress is making some differences in the relationship. What should we do???? -- Steve, 18
Dr. Susan: It's only natural that your relationship is changing while one of you is pursuing a very challenging goal. If I were you, I'd do my best not to add to her stress by expecting nothing to change. College can be very time- and energy-consuming. You both can't simply expect to have as much time for one another as you did before. If your relationship is a strong one, then you both want the best for each other, right? In this instance, that might mean you sit down with her and figure out how much time she really has, and set up specific date times or whatever, so she doesn't feel like you're always pressuring her to be together. If you're mature enough to be planning marriage, you may need to sacrifice some present-day fun times in the interests of a good future.
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Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.