Looking for Trouble
Q: I am interested in a woman, but this is how her "looking for" ad would read: Married three times, leaves men totally used and emotionally broken, panders to men and old folks to survive. Loves bad boys with motorcycles, has problems with alcohol and pot, bounces from place to place. Never completed anything for a career, no retirement savings. Knows what AA, NA and ACOA are. Has other sex partners. Afraid of commitments. Very smart, but makes very stupid and dangerous choices.
What are my chances with her? -- Larry, 59
Dr. Susan: So tell me: why are you looking for trouble? Seriously, why would a man with such clear insight into a woman's character STILL want to pursue her? That's like asking me what your chances are of being run over by a train if you lie down quietly on the tracks. I guess you are one of those genuine masochists, or you're incredibly lonely and crave ANY attention at all, however abusive. Or she's got your hormones in a stir and you don't WANT to think straight. You do have at least one or two things in common, that you're both smart and you both make very stupid and dangerous choices. My advice: get up off the train tracks.
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Advice for Her
Advice for Him
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.