He Called Her Ex's Name
Q: I am going through a divorce after 27 years with this woman. I have met a wonderful woman just 2 weeks after being pushed out of my house. I called my new date by my ex's name, and she got very upset. I assure you that I have no feelings towards my ex. What can I say or do to prevent this from happening? She thinks I still have strong feelings for my ex. Please help. -- Bill, 49
Dr. Susan: After 27 years, it's not shocking that you'd accidentally call your new date by your ex's name. Sounds like your new date is particularly sensitive and not very understanding. Of course, you probably do have a basket of mixed feelings about your ex when it's only two weeks since the split. All you can do is explain to your new date that your divorce was a long time coming and you're definitely no longer in love with her, that you only used your ex's name out of sheer habit, that these things can happen to anyone, and if she'll give you time, she'll see you really like her for who she is. Just face the reality that two weeks is hardly enough time to get over being "pushed out" of your house and get serious about someone else.
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Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.