Too Late to Act?
Q: I have been attracted to this girl at work for over a year know. She had feelings for me before but I didn't react because she is 36, 11 years older than me. Now she seems disheartened by the fact I never did anything, though now I'm ready to show her I'm very serious about her. My question is how would I let her know I'm serious now, or did I already ruin it? -- Mitch, 25
Dr. Susan: Why not simply begin all over again? Ask her out for coffee or suggest something simple to do together outside the office. If she is at all still interested in you, she'll probably take a chance and say yes. I think you would be making a mistake if you tried to tell or show her you're "serious" before you've established a real relationship. It's never too late to try, really, unless she has someone else. Your age difference may or may not be a problem. Meanwhile, just be honest. Tell her that you must have been crazy not to pursue her a year ago when you first knew you were attracted, but now you've wised up and would love to get to know her better.
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Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.