Hiding Him from Family

Q: I have been with one girl on and off for 10 years. She has never introduced me to her family. Is this a reason to leave her? Is this a sign that she can't commit to me? -- Terry, 39

Dr. Susan: The clearest sign that your long-time girlfriend can't commit to you (and you to her) is that you've been "off and on" for a decade. You've apparently found numerous reasons to leave one another, and it sounds like her not introducing you to her family is just one more excuse (or rationalization) for splitting up. Surely in 10 years there have been family occasions she would have invited you to. Is she married to someone else?! Regardless, I suggest the two of you have been hanging around one another long enough to make up your minds about one another. If you and she plan to be a couple for keeps, find a way to show it. She should let her family know about you, and it's time for you to meet them. Their approval isn't necessary, but keeping your relationship a secret for so long does make me wonder what's going on in your girlfriend's mind. You have to ask her, and her response had better be reasonable.

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