Lying About Texting
Q: My girlfriend has been lying to me about some text messages she has been getting from another guy. What should I do about it? -- Jack, 34
Dr. Susan: I'm not sure exactly what your question is, Jack. Obviously, if you've seen her getting text messages from someone, and she lies about the fact that she's getting them, or she lies about what they say and you KNOW for a fact that they say something different, there's only one conclusion you can make: She's lying. The question is why. So you talk to her about it. Is she covering up a whole other relationship? Or is she trying to avoid your jealousy for the time being while she decides what her next option is, such as whether she should switch boyfriends? Is she having what she'd like you to think of as a harmless little flirtation? Or could you be misreading those text messages? What you need to do is pay attention to her behavior in the rest of the relationship to determine whether she's a trustworthy person overall, or whether this incident is just the tip of the iceberg of her dishonesty. First, though, talk.
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Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.