Not Interested

Q: My girlfriend and I had an argument and have separated. We were together for nine months. She said she never had feelings for me and now we do not communicate at all. Do I let her go her own way, or do I try to show her how much I love her? -- Roger, 44

Dr. Susan: If your girlfriend said she never had feelings for you, I don't believe it. She may have said it in anger for maximum hurt. Or, equally possible, she was waiting for the perfect opportunity to break up with you, and your big argument offered her a convenient "out." Certainly, you ought to make the effort to communicate with her one more time to find out if she has truly given up on the relationship. Then, yes, you do have to let her go. You've had nine months to "show her" how much you love her. If she didn't feel it, then it's too late now. I always like to suggest that people try to find out or figure out what went wrong, for the sake of not making the same mistakes with the next person, but sometimes one of the partners isn't interested in having that conversation.

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