He Wears Wife's Undies
Q: I wear my wife's underwear. I think she knows. Should I tell her? -- Bob, 42
Dr. Susan: If I had a roommate who swiped my intimate apparel without asking, I'd be very annoyed. How much more irritating it would be for your wife to discover that her favorite undies (clean or not) have somehow been co-opted by you without her knowledge and permission! Beyond simple good manners, I do think you should let your wife know what you've been doing and why you do it. The secretive nature of your fetish may be adding to the titillation factor for you, but the risk is that your wife will be upset, perhaps disgusted, when she does find out, and that doesn't bode well for your relationship remaining a close and loving one. Keep the conversation casual, give her some time to get used to the idea, and maybe the two of you can find some way to integrate your turn-on into your intimate lives so she can benefit also. Be aware, though, that a man wearing women's underwear isn't a big thrill in and of itself to most women, so be prepared to offer your wife something in exchange for her tolerance. I don't mean a dishwasher, but rather something sexy just for her.
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Advice for Her
Advice for Him
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.