Start an Office Affair?
Q: A girl I work with, who reports to me, is just out of college. I'm 26, and I would like very much to forge a relationship with her. I have so far only talked to her about our work and not gone beyond that. Shall I go ahead and let her know I am interested? I'm worried that if I ask her out, and she isn't interested, then anything I do with regards to work even, would seem to be a result of my hurt feelings. Shall I proceed? Should I stop? If I don't proceed, I fear I'll always be working with her with unresolved feelings in mind. Please please please help. -- Adam
Dr. Susan: Unresolved feelings about a colleague eventually dissipate, Adam, whereas if you try to start something with an underling at your office, it may end up very badly. The odds, in fact, of it ending uncomfortably for both of you are quite high. I can hear that you find her attractive and would like to get to know her better, but all you should really do now is talk pleasantly with her and get to know her casually. Asking her out or letting her know you have designs on her might make her very uneasy at this point. You could get into serious trouble, in fact, if she misunderstands your intentions. Stay clear and just try to be friends as well as colleagues. Office romances can be as much trouble as you've heard.
Copyright © Fun Online Corporation
Advice for Her
Advice for Him
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.