Grandma Is Bad Nanny

Q: My mother recently moved in with my family. We have an apartment downstairs, and we have agreed to let her live there for three years while our kids are still young and my wife goes back to work. The agreement is that she will help with our kids in exchange for room and board. Lately, she has been retreating into her apartment and doesn’t make the kids dinner or spend any time with them. My oldest daughter is getting very angry with her, and it’s causing a lot of tension in our family. I’m learning my mom only does what she wants, and it’s hard for me to see. She also has no money and nowhere to go, so we can’t kick her out. How do I create a better system within this family dynamic? -Aaron, 44

Dr. Anna: If you want to create a better family dynamic, you need to sit down and have an open, honest heart-to-heart conversation. Something like, “Mom, we need to talk, this isn’t going how we expected…” Ask her questions and try to understand her experience. Caring for young children as an older person may be a much bigger challenge than she was expecting. Give her a chance to open up and be honest—try not to judge. She may feel just as stuck as you do. Try to work together to figure out what changes you can make together to make the situation feel more manageable for everyone.

Copyright © Fun Online Corporation

Love Experts

Need Advice? Ask Our Experts!

Love Library: Featured Articles

Sex Wars: He Said / She Said