Sister Ruined His Truck
Q: I offered to let my sister drive my truck for a few days while she and her husband did some repairs on their house. They have put a lot of dents in it due to moving bricks and dry wall. I'm super angry about this and feel like they should pay to have my truck repaired. They don't feel like they should have to pay for it because they have no money. I'm thinking of having them pay me a monthly fee until it's paid. Is this a good idea or should I let it go? -James, 49
Dr. Anna: Your feelings are understandable in this situation. It sounds like you were trying to be a good guy and do her a favor, but she was careless with your truck. When deciding how to move forward, think about what you want from your relationship with your sister. Forcing her to pay you money may create a lot of hard feelings and strain (or even break) your relationship with her. If you feel some reparations are in order, you might make other requests like an apology or ask her to help with something that is not money, like pitching in her time and effort on a project you need help with. You might also just choose to consider this an expensive lesson and let it go. It's up to you what you think is going to work best for you.
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Advice for Her
Advice for Him
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.