Long Distance Drama
Q: I have been involved in a long distance relationship for the past two years. It's honestly been so much fun, and I am so in love. I am currently going to school and plan on graduating in three years. This means that I cannot move anywhere just yet. But my girlfriend is getting antsy and doesn't think she can wait anymore. She told me it was fine for the first year and a half but now she can't wait anymore. She can't move to me because she runs her ill father's store in her hometown. Is it time that this relationship ended? Should I take a break from school? I'm so confused. -Bryan, 25
Dr. Anna: If you simply give up school and move to her, are you going to end up resenting her for it later? You two need to sit down and have an honest conversation about the relationship. It sounds like she has a need for a partner who is physically present. It sounds like you have a big investment in finishing school. Can there be a compromise? Would transferring to a school closer to her be an option? Would it be possible to find ways to spend more time together in the meantime? Healthy relationships are built on honesty, recognizing each other's needs, and compromise. Sit down and talk it out—it may be possible to find a solution that works for both of you.
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Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.