Sending Mixed Signals

Q: There's a new girl at work I'm interested in. We work in different departments, but she finds reasons to come talk to me several times a day. She often stands very close to me and touches my arm or messes with my hair. I was sure she was flirting until she mentioned her boyfriend! What's with the mixed signals? Is she just after attention or is there really something there?

Dr. Pamela: I imagine it's a frustrating thing to be on the receiving end of a girl's mixed signals. And it's worse when part of the mix a boyfriend! Before you do anything else, check with Human Resources and find out the company's policy on co-workers dating. Then you'll know if pursuing her is an option, an option I advise against. Here's why. While sexual attraction is usually the reason an attached guy pursues a girl, there are usually other reasons when it's the girl doing the pursuing.

  • She enjoys your attention and may flirt with you just for the fun it.
  • She may flirt to prove to herself she can win the attention of other men.
  • She may be unhappy in her relationship, but for some reason isn't able to end it.
  • She may really like you, but doesn't want to lose what she has.
  • If you flirt back, you won't be courting her, you'll be courting trouble. Even if you are looking just for a good time, chances are the triangle will get messy, especially since it's in the work place. And if you are looking for a serious relationship, there's a good chance you'll get hurt. Always be on guard when tempted by a girl who's already taken. Don't fall for her unless she becomes 'untaken.'

    Copyright © Fun Online Corporation

    Love Experts

    Need Advice? Ask Our Experts!

    Love Library: Featured Articles

    Sex Wars: He Said / She Said