Can You Get A Second Chance After A Bad First Date?
Q: I was recently set up on a blind date by some friends and made a terrible first impression. No excuses, but I'd had a really bad day, almost everything went wrong during our date. She tried to laugh it off, but she later told our friend she thought I was a jerk. Is there way to start over? Brian-40
Dr. Pamela: We're all human, and we all make mistakes. Owning up to your bad first impression is the first step in recovering from it. Even though the odds of a second date aren't in your favor, you should apologize for your behavior; the sooner the better. Be clear and sincere. Identify exactly what you're apologizing for. Instead of just saying 'I'm sorry for the way I acted," spell it out: "I'm sorry I made you feel uncomfortable and acted as if I wasn't interested in anything you had to say." Then ask for another chance. But ask only once. If her answer is no, then move on. Any additional attempts might make her feel you're stalking her. If nothing else, you learned a powerful life lesson: Get that first date right so you're not left with such bad odds for a second one.
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Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.