Love Life a Sitcom!
Q: I have been in a fairytale relationship with my girlfriend for two years. We are both freshman at different universities about an hour apart. Recently I've been accused of cheating on her by a friend of hers. It was a crazy situation, but long story short: this friend says she watched everything happen. The only catch is that it didn't. I've tried everything to iron out these misunderstandings, but the friend has been wholly uncooperative. And my girlfriend refuses to talk to anyone until she hears just one story from everyone. This friend now refuses to talk to me, see me, or instant message me. And when she e-mails me, it's very insulting and never accomplishes anything, because she refuses to accept anything but her ideas. What do I do? -- Andy
Dr. Susan: So far, what you're describing would make a good sitcom premise. Interfering friend sees "something" that didn't happen, or misinterprets something that did happen, and stubborn girlfriend won't talk to anyone until somehow the confusing gets worked out without her. My first thought is that what you're describing as a fairytale relationship is precisely that: a story based on made up stuff. Only nobody knows for sure who's making up what. Bottom line: This isn't between you and the accusing friend, so quit getting enmeshed in non-productive e-mail exchanges with her. This needs to be worked out by you and your girlfriend. But if she trusts her friend more than she trusts you, and you're indeed telling the WHOLE truth, your fairytale isn't going to have a fairytale ending.
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Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.