His Ex Still Fills His Mind

Q: How normal is it to keep thinking about your ex? I broke up with her over four years ago when it became clear I wasn't ready to give her the kind of commitment she wanted. I've dated many great girls since then — including my current girlfriend — but I still think about my ex often. We haven't seen each other, but I do occasionally see her on Facebook, where we share a few friends. Is it weird to still be wondering "what if" after all this time? There are times I still think about her almost every day. - Evan, 36

Dr. Susan: Our minds do like to keep busy imagining the various ways our lives might turn out or how they might have turned out differently if we'd made other choices earlier. I get that you broke up with her not because you didn't like her, but for other reasons. So it is indeed normal to remember her fondly, especially when your current life and girlfriend are imperfect. Nobody's perfect, including your ex. Accept those thoughts with a smile and then move on.

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