Newly Single Guy Plays the Field
Q: I just became single after 21 years of marriage, and I don't want to get into a serious relationship. When I tell a woman I just want to be friends, she agrees. But then she gets mad when she realizes I'm dating other women. It's been a long time since I did this dating thing, but I seriously don't want to get serious. I also don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. How do I handle letting a girl know I want to date her but I don't want to date only her? I just want to have some fun.--Bradley, 56
Dr. Susan: Have you tried being fully upfront about your wishes? "I'm really not looking for anything serious right now. Really. I just want to have fun after a very long marriage. Can you handle that I'll probably be dating other women too?" Then if that particular would-be date expresses horror or anger or lack of interest, you'll know where you stand. Such honesty is the only way to know that both of you are on the same page from the start. In a hooking-up world, you may think it shouldn't be so hard to find women to be "friends" with. Many women, especially in your age group, may be unwilling to spend much time in a fun-only relationship, especially with all the hazards of intimacy these days. So you'll have to work out ground rules.
Copyright © Fun Online Corporation
Advice for Her
Advice for Him
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.