How to Handle a Pass by a Friend
Q: I'm getting a weird vibe from one of my best friends, who's married. When we go to bars and have a few drinks, he leans too close and puts his hand on my leg. One time, I thought he was trying to kiss me. I got up and went to the bathroom. He came in a few seconds later, and I said, "Dude, are you following me?" He laughed it off and didn't do anything. I used to like hanging out with him, but lately it's making me nervous and a little pissed off. Should I say something? What if I'm wrong and just paranoid? - Jarrod, 32
Dr. Susan: How important is it to you that you stay drinking buddies with a guy who makes you uncomfortable? Most men know when it's okay to put a hand on another man's leg. Don't get pissed off, and stop getting pissed with him. When he drinks, he probably loosens up and lets that other side of himself come out. Of course, you could be just paranoid, and there's no way to know other than by asking him. Perhaps you could limit your get-togethers to non-drinking outings.
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Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.