Falling for His Girlfriend's Friend
Q: I have been dating a girl about six weeks. She's attractive and smart and I was really into her — until she introduced me to her friend at a party! Dr. Susan, this girl is everything I've been looking for! We shared a few intense moments at the party and I'm sure she felt the connection, too. Is there any way to gently let down my girlfriend and see what happens with her friend? --Brandon, 23
Dr. Susan: Forget about gently letting your girlfriend down. However you approach breaking up with her, when she finds out it's her own friend you're lusting after, she'll be upset and probably furious at both of you. Nevertheless, after only six weeks of dating, you're not committed for a lifetime, especially at your young age.
How about telling your girlfriend you realized that the two of you just aren't meant to be. That you find yourself wanting to date others. Then, let a decent amount of time pass before contacting her friend. The results may not be what you're hoping for, and could be generally messy. Still, you never know. Now's your time of life to explore and learn from your mistakes.
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Advice for Her
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Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.