Second-Chance Odds

Q: Do you believe in second chances? A year ago, my girlfriend told me she wanted us to get married or for me to get lost. I got lost. After spending time growing up and realizing what I'm missing, I feel like I'm now ready to commit. Is it too late to win her back? -Evan, 30

Dr. Susan: Whether you have a shot at resuming your relationship where you left it a year ago depends on what your girlfriend has been doing this past year. Have you had any contact at all? A year is a long time. Maybe you've realized what you're missing, but equally possible is that your ex sees you more clearly and won't trust you to mess with her emotions again. Especially if she's found someone else. Of course, you have nothing to lose by making contact and seeing if she'll spend a lot of time with you. That way, you can both decide if you and she have changed enough, but not too much (!), and are both ready to commit to one another.

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