Q: Do you believe in second chances? A year ago, my girlfriend told me she wanted us to get married or for me to get lost. I got lost. After spending time growing up and realizing what I'm missing, I feel like I'm now ready to commit. Is it too late to win her back? -Evan, 30
Dr. Susan: Whether you have a shot at resuming your relationship where you left it a year ago depends on what your girlfriend has been doing this past year. Have you had any contact at all? A year is a long time. Maybe you've realized what you're missing, but equally possible is that your ex sees you more clearly and won't trust you to mess with her emotions again. Especially if she's found someone else. Of course, you have nothing to lose by making contact and seeing if she'll spend a lot of time with you. That way, you can both decide if you and she have changed enough, but not too much (!), and are both ready to commit to one another.
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Advice for Her
Advice for Him
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.