What Does Girl's Smile Mean?
Q: There's this girl at work who's really good looking and knows it. She has lots of guys talking to her and she goes to lunch with different ones. She probably wouldn't want to date me, but I get this feeling that I have some chance. She looked right at me and smiled the other day and I was surprised. She must like me. What should I do? Should I send her an email and ask her on a date? Or should I just keep walking by her desk and see if she smiles at me again? — Kirk, 34
Dr. Susan: An all-too-common misperception by men is that a female's smile is a come-on. The fact is that a lot of women are naturally happy, smiling at guys without anything more meant than friendliness. One smile from a popular attractive girl is not enough encouragement for you to email her for a date. Nor is an email the best way to ask for a date with someone you barely know.
Sure, you might have some chance with her. But not until you get to know her a little better. It's not a bad idea to keep walking by her desk, perhaps stopping to chat a bit about something neutral (the news, a new boss, even the weather). Judge by her response whether she's being more than simply friendly to you, as she seems to be with everyone. Don't make the mistake of assuming she likes you in a special way because of that single surprising smile.
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Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.