Is His Dating Plan Out-of-Date?
Q: Does anyone date the old-fashioned way anymore? It seems like all of my friends are meeting potential girlfriends on apps or social media, but I'd rather meet someone doing the activities that I enjoy like golf, hiking, and sporting events. I've gone to a few singles events centered around these activities but I get the feeling that women are making snap judgments on appearance and not really interested in getting to know me. There's got to be a better way to meet people, right? — Cy, 44
Dr. Susan: It's fine to want to meet someone the old way, but if, at 44, you've not yet happened on the right woman, why not try the newer methods? Before long, the women you find intriguing will be married, busy with kids, and even harder to meet. You may not find your great love while golfing or hiking or at sporting events. But that doesn't mean that whoever you do meet won't be agreeable to sharing some of those activities with you.
Sure, women make snap judgments based on the visual, but so do men! Dating sites work for many people, if you're not too picky or too quick to judge, and you describe yourself in a way that's appealing. Of course, some sites (the free ones, in my experience) can be frustrating, especially for men or women who don't fit the perfect template. Broaden your search, try new activities where more women are likely to attend. At singles events, try to get to know the women, rather than expecting them to pursue you.
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Advice for Her
Advice for Him
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.