Girlfriend Asks Too Many Questions
Q: I'm a professional musician playing on the road most of my adult life. Twice divorced, I'm involved with a lovely lady. The longer we're together, the more the questions are popping up. What did you do after the show? Who were you with? When did you get back to the hotel? Look, I'm no angel and she knew this. Yeah, I get together with women, some of them friends who I see regularly on return trips. I'm not in love with them. They're more like friends with benefits. Why do I have to keep justifying my time with every woman I start to date? I do like this one but I will end it if she keeps up the questioning. Are there any women out there that understand my lifestyle? — Anthony, 59
Dr. Susan: Oh, we understand it all right, Anthony. The question is whether you'll find one who can be content being one of your multitude of on-call females. What I don't get is exactly what you want from this woman. You already have a number of friends on the road who are happy to satisfy both your friendship and your physical needs. They accept their limited participation in your life (assuming you're not lying to all of them). What is it you're seeking from this one "lovely lady" that you don't already have? Would you want her to be faithful to you? You're obviously not being honest with her about your roving-eye lifestyle. Seems like you want a traditional woman who will never ask questions and take whatever limited amount of love and attention you're willing to give her. I can't assure you that any reasonably sane, attractive, and unquestioning woman is waiting around to be found by you.
Copyright © Fun Online Corporation
Advice for Her
Advice for Him
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.