Are They "In a Relationship" or Not?
Q: There's a girl that I hook up with on a regular basis. I like her casually but I'm too young and too busy to get tied down to a girlfriend. Now she changed her status on Facebook to "in a relationship" and she named me. She knows we don't go out, and she knows exactly how I feel. Should I end the hook-ups? I'm ready to unfriend her because of this. — Will, 22
Dr. Susan: That's easy: ask her what she's thinking. Even if you're only hooking up, you owe each other some consideration. Maybe she changed her status because she, too, is too busy to be bothered by other guys. More likely, though, she sees your relationship differently than you imagined. Emotions do get sparked when two people get intimate. Being just "friends with benefits" isn't the right choice for everyone. You'll never know unless you ask her.
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Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.