Hates Her Bedtime Routine

Q: I'm getting serious with this girl, serious enough that I spend most nights at her place. She likes to watch TV in bed, which is fine, but she's addicted to crime drama series. I like these shows well enough, but what I don't like is hooking up after. An hour of watching criminal cases isn't exactly my idea of an aphrodisiac. Do I just have to get over this hang up, or can ask her to cut out this part of her routine? And more importantly, am I the weird one or is she? — Eric, 24

Dr. Susan: Neither of you is all that weird. I'm sure that many couples try to couple up directly after watching the news on TV, or else some other show that one of them likes much more than the other. You should be able to work this out by compromising. Use the DVR to save her favorite crime dramas, and then space them out so it's not an everyday routine. Figure out how you would prefer to get in the mood, and add that to your nightly activity. What might you both enjoy that would not take either of you too far from the mood for intimacy? A few minutes of watching something sexy to act as a transition? Or she could start teasing you a bit as her show winds down. Or she could watch her shows earlier on some nights. If you're both solutions-oriented, understanding, and willing to compromise, this shouldn't be a major obstacle for you.

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