Are They Really a Couple?

Q: I've known and liked this girl for more than a year. At first we were just friends. Now she's admitted to my friends that she likes me, but in public she doesn't really show her affection towards me. It's like she doesn't want anybody to know that we're kind of together. We have casual sex and all but she hasn't actually asked me to be her one and only boyfriend. I'm worried that she could find some other guy and start dating him, and technically she can because we're not committed to each other. I don't know what to do because I'm really starting to fall for her but she doesn't seem to be into it as much as I am. — Luke, 18

Dr. Susan: You're sleeping together but you can't ask her not to be with anyone else for now? That doesn't sound very promising for a genuine deep relationship. Certainly she could find someone else and date him. It often happens that one partner will be more "into it" than the other, and all you can do if you're the less loved person is to ask for honesty. Let your girl know that you're counting on her telling you if she starts seeing someone else, because you really like her and aren't dating anyone else while you're with her. See what her response is and go from there.

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