Jealous of His Ex

Q: I'm married to a man who says he loves me, yet I'm alone, heart sore and angry. He runs at every snap of his ex-wife's fingers. He even cut his grandbaby's cord at the request of his 31-year-old daughter. Please give me your advice.-- Shana, 39

Dr. Susan: Why are you so upset? The example you gave of your husband catering to his ex-wife's every whim is an odd one. It's lovely that your husband's daughter had him cut her baby's cord. Regardless of how you feel about his ex-wife, he is going to delight in his grandchild and want to maintain a close relationship with his grown daughter. If you get in the way of that due to misplaced jealousy, you won't be doing your marriage any good. Choose your battles carefully. I bet that right now your husband is experiencing all kinds of mixed feelings about transitions, aging, and families. Try to enjoy his grandparenthood with him. You can, of course, insist that he respect your feelings about too much closeness with his ex-wife. Just be sure you're not over-reacting due to insecurity.

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