Q: My relationship has been over for five months, but he and I still talk as friends. I can't seem to get over him, but he acts like he's over me. His friends told me he's not. Should I try to get things started again or move on for real? -- Jennifer, 21
Dr. Susan: If your ex-boyfriend acts as though he is over you, then I wouldn't listen to his friends. Anyway, how could you get things started again? You're in touch with each other, so he knows how to find you. If he were the least bit interested in heating things up again, he would have done something about it. He's probably got his mind on finding someone new, or he likes his freedom, or both. You know how you can get in the habit of picking at a scab? That's what you're doing whenever you talk to him "as friends." It's too hard to be "just friends" with someone you like that much, so I say move on.
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Advice for Her
Advice for Him
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.