Signs of Attraction
Q: I met a guy who is ten years younger than myself. I think he likes me, although he is away at the moment. He is returning to the States and wants to keep in contact. What are the signs that I should look for to know if he is interested, or I am fooling myself? I am attractive and have a lot going for me, but I have difficulty forming relationships. I don't know where to go to meet men and often shy away from places that might open up my options. Most of the men are married and I don't want to get into that type of relationship. Any suggestions? -- Tracy, 62
Dr. Susan: You have nothing to lose by staying in touch with this younger guy. If he says he wants to keep in contact, he might mean exactly what he says. Nothing less, but nothing more. Don't put the rest of your life on hold in hopes of something serious developing between the two of you at some point in the future. You can usually tell if a guy is interested when he reaches out, on his own, and tries to connect with you. It's truly hard to know anything if he's not even in the same country as you are.
Until he returns and you can date in person, how about working on your shyness? Find singles events where you can be somewhat assured that the men aren't married. Also, just because MOST men are married where you've been hanging out up to now, that doesn't mean you won't find one or two who are nice guys and are NOT married. It only takes one, so try not to give up. You might consider seeing a counselor to work on your self-esteem issues, or to pinpoint whatever it is that keeps your relationships from working out. Good luck!
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Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.