Husband Left But Keeps Calling
Q: My husband abandoned me because I lost my job! He went and got an apartment with his 25-year-old daughter and her husband. Neither one of them are working, and my husband is over there taking care of both of them. I found out that he has a different woman coming over to their house every night. Yet he calls me five to ten times a day. I don't understand why he keeps calling. What should I do about this situation? -- Denise, 53
Dr. Susan: Men rarely leave their wives due to the woman's job loss, so I suspect that's not the real reason. Especially as he's over there taking care of his jobless daughter and her jobless husband. It just doesn't make sense. What does make a sad kind of sense is that he is enjoying playing around with a batch of new women, while he continues to call you constantly for a sort of continuity in his life. If you're willing to wait until he tires of his new bachelor-like lifestyle, hoping he'll return to you eventually, that's a gamble you have to consider carefully. But I wouldn't be there for his calls five to ten times a day. Do you still want to save the relationship? If so, insist he come back and see a counselor with you. Otherwise, stop answering the phone. Cold-turkey. He can't have it both ways.
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Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.