Is Family Friend Her True Love?
Q: I have been married for 20 years. I never loved my husband, but I was a single mother of two and thought I would never find the man of my dreams anyway. About four months ago I realized the man who I thought of as a "dear friend" ended up being my BEST friend, and we slept together. We both agree the timing is HORRIBLE (we are both married), but we feel like we belong together. What to do? Our families are SO close. - Robin, 44
Dr. Susan: You've got yourself into a pickle here by allowing a close family friendship to move to the bedroom. However, your choice is clear: both of you divorce your mates, wait a while, and then get hitched to one another. Everyone in both families will be devastated and furious, and will probably never forgive either of you for your treachery. Or you could avoid one another and try your hardest to get over this lust-fueled infatuation. The way you're handling it now is precisely how you should NOT be handling it: sneaking around on your families. In the final analysis, the longer you lie, the uglier you make the situation for everyone.
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Advice for Her
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Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.