Husband Turns Her Off
Q: I have lost all interest in my marriage. I don't like to be touched anymore by my husband. Is that bad? -- Sally, 27
Dr. Susan: That's bad. Not bad as in morally bad, or blameworthy bad, but bad as in "Something isn't right in your life and your marriage, and it would be good to find out how to improve things." You're only 27, nowhere near midlife, so your total drop-off of libido is telling me that something is wrong. You haven't indicated whether you have sexy feelings for another man. If you do, that would go a long way toward explaining why you don't feel anything for your husband.
Try to figure out when your disinterest began. Has your husband done something major to disappoint you or make you angry? Are there things about your life with him that you resent but haven't brought up? Has he recently changed his lovemaking style (or never changed it at all, no matter what your own needs and desires are)? Are you depressed? Have you recently given birth or do you have a pack of young kids who are exhausting you? If there isn't another man involved, I suggest you begin by getting a complete medical check-up, and let the doctor know you have gone cold toward touch. Some sessions with a good therapist, for you or for both of you, might be helpful in digging deeper into the problem. Because yes, this is a problem for a marriage
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Advice for Her
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Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.