Which Ex Should She Choose?
Q: I have an ex-boyfriend who wants to get back with me. Although he is controlling, I still love him. I also have another ex-boyfriend that only talks to me when he wants something. What should I do? -- Katie, 18
Dr. Susan: Out of all the men in the world, why would you give yourself such a limited choice? Obviously, you're way too young to settle for either of these guys. I also think that you are aware of how bad both of them are for you, as they're both exes. What you're calling "love" is most likely not real love, but just one of those attractions that won't go away readily. If the controlling ex is that way now, imagine how much worse he'll be in the future? Controlling boys turn into abusive men, more often than not, and if you already see the signs, run. Many women end up divorced from critical controlling abusive men who showed signs of those behaviors early on, signs they chose to ignore until too late. The other ex sounds like your typical selfish guy, but, then, in his defense, why should he talk to you if you've broken up anyway? Stay clear of both of them and look forward, not backward.
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Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.