Q: There is this girl that works at the gym that I work out at. I started noticing her a few months ago, and I think she is really attractive. Every now and then I'll look over at her. Several times when I did this, she was already looking directly at me and then would quickly turn away. Sometimes I would look at her and she would turn and look at me. This goes on just about every day I'm there, five days a week. I finally asked her out, but she said she liked guys and that she was flattered. I left it at that but she still looks at me. What should I make of it and what to do? -- Diane, 39
Dr. Susan: Leave it at feeling flattered yourself. Here's this straight woman who finds your face or body intriguing enough to keep looking at. It doesn't mean she wants to get to know you, much less to touch you. There's something about you that she feels drawn to look at, and it might be as simple as the fact that you keep looking at her. Women do look at other women all the time. They do it to compare themselves, not because they are lusting. Anyway, don't make anything big about it. Enjoy the attention, keep working out, and don't make a pest of yourself by focusing on this woman when she's clearly said "no, thanks."
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Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.