He Wants Her to Be a Show-Off
Q: Why does my husband want me to show off my body to the whole world? He is always buying me tight, low-cut, short, sexy, revealing clothes. I don't mind sometimes, but I'm a little confused by his saying he loves it when other guys "check me out." What gives? Is it just him or are all men like that? -- Janet, 32
Dr. Susan: When a man is insecure about his loved one, wondering whether she's about to flirt with and flit off with the next admiring male, he doesn't want her to dress sexily and expose herself to the gaze of strangers. So we know for a fact that your husband trusts you. On the other hand, when men are insecure about themselves (and most are to some extent), they sometimes like to dress up their mates (the most precious thing they "own," right?) and show off what studs they are to have captured such a beauty. One man I asked said, "It's a kick to be able to think I've got her and you don't." So in your husband's case, it probably only comes down to ordinary male competitiveness and one-upmanship. He's proud of you and enjoys showing you off. He likes to see other men being envious of him for being with you. The only problem would be if he insists on your dressing more sexily than you're comfortable doing or pesters you to do it when you're not in the mood or the setting is inappropriate. It's okay to say no sometimes.
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Advice for Her
Advice for Him
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.