She Slept with His Brother

Q: I had sex with my boyfriend's twin brother. Over the past eight months he and I have had sex three times, as well as some slight fooling around. My boyfriend has a terrible temper and has hit me on several occasions. The brothers are not talking due to an argument they had and his brother said some things about me, and my boyfriend thinks we were sleeping together. I know I can't tell my boyfriend, because he'll kill me and it will tear apart his family. My boyfriend doesn't want to break up but I know he cannot trust me again. What should I do? -- Jenny, 24

Dr. Susan: Your letter, sad to say, is one more example of how people can royally mess up their lives. Jenny, you have to get out of both of these relationships immediately. When you're with someone who hits you, and you play around with his brother, you're asking for serious trouble. You know that and still you're doing it, and it might be good to consider why. But right now, I wouldn't take the risk of confessing your infidelities with your boyfriend's twin, since no good can come of that. He might indeed harm you physically and, of less critical importance to you, it certainly would further tear his family apart.

Tell your boyfriend that you realize you're not right for one another. If he insists on knowing why, only say it's one of those gut feelings but you're sure and won't be talked out of it. No, there's no one else, and in fact, say you've decided to give up dating altogether for a while until you get your head straight. Then stay as far as you can get from both these guys, for a long, long time, preferably forever. Do not talk to or see either of them. It's time to close that depressing book entirely. You're young enough to give yourself a fresh start. That's something everyone deserves, no matter how atrociously all of you have behaved.

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