She Started Off with a Bang
Q: I slept with a guy the first night I met him at a bar. I was the aggressive one: I asked for the condom, I asked for the room, and I left without saying good-bye. Unfortunately, I think I may like him (or like the chase). The way I acted was a complete mistake, but I had finished finals for school, taking the LSAT, and long days at work. It was winter break and I was determined to have fun! He seems interested in me, before and after sex, but can a guy truly get over the fact that I was easy? Could there be something more? -- Jazmin
Dr. Susan: You left without saying good-bye?! That's just not nice. Still, he may not hold your behavior against you. Besides, you weren't easy, you were assertive. He was the easy one. Some guys love it when a woman comes on to them this way: It makes them feel desirable. And some guys don't like it when someone else takes control. When he came to his senses, he might even have felt a little used (but I doubt it). You don't know him at all. The only way you're going to know if there could be something more is if he calls you. Did you leave your number when you skedaddled? If not, you might give him a quick call and take it from there, but don't be surprised if he expects sex and only sex when you get together. This one might have to be a write-off.
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Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.