Her Doc Wants Her!
Q: I have been going to my female doctor for appointments every three months for the past four years. From the very first time I met her, I've had extremely strong feelings of attraction for her, which she is aware of. Though she told me that it does not bother her that I'm attracted to her and she turned me down when I asked her out, I still suspect she has deeper feelings for me that she's hiding. She always stares into my eyes until I have to look away. She calls me honey, sits next to me on the exam table, and other things. Why does she continue doing this knowing that I have feelings for her? I can't figure her out. -- Sue
Dr. Susan: Your doctor sounds as confused as you are. Personally, I'd switch immediately to another doctor, since this one is behaving so oddly. Calling you honey could just be the way she speaks to everyone, but I've never had a doctor sit next to me on the exam table or stare me down. She's toying with you, apparently. Maybe it gives her a kick to play with your emotions, knowing you are attracted to her. An ethical professional wouldn't knowingly stir up a patient. If you want to continue seeing her because you believe she's the best doctor for whatever your ailments are, at least set some boundaries, for your own sake. After four years, you can pretty well be assured she doesn't want to date you. But who needs those kinds of mixed messages? Life has enough drama without seeking it out in your doctor's office.
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Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.