Time to Meet the Family?
Q: I'm 21 and I've been dating the most wonderful guy for the past three months. We never fight, bicker, or disagree. But there might be a fight coming on. My boyfriend asked me a month ago to go home with him to meet his family and friends. I have no problem with this and I'm actually excited. The problem is, when I asked him to go with me for my family's vacation he totally skirted the subject. It would mean so much to me if he came with me. How do I get him to go without guilt-tripping him? -- Lily
Dr. Susan: Maybe it's just me, but it seems like meeting your boyfriend's family is one thing, but asking him to spend a whole vacation with your family is another matter. After dating you for only three months, he may be understandably leery of committing to so much family time -- with an unknown family. Of course, both you and I are only guessing at this point. Rather than fearing a fight, take this as a great opportunity to learn how the two of you manage potential disagreement. Forget about "getting him to go," and just ask how he'd feel about meeting your family. Then see if you can compromise on some sort of vacation that allows you plenty of alone time with him and SOME time with your family.
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Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.