Is He Not That Into Her?
Q: There's this guy that I've had a few dates with, and he's confusing me. He doesn't text me for several days, but if I text him he answers me. I've asked him to meet up a few times since our last date, and he always says he'd like to but he's got other plans. My friend says he's blowing me off. But if he didn't want to date me, wouldn't he just say so? He's cute and has a lot of friends, so I'm sure he really is busy. Should I just ask him if he doesn't want to date me?—Layla, 19
Dr. Susan: Apparently you haven't yet learned that one of the most common ways to blow someone off is to be too busy whenever they ask you out. Seems like your guy friend is not all that into you. When you ask to meet up, and he says he's busy, it's up to him to name another time. He doesn't do that, so stop being confused and wasting your time on him.
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Advice for Her
Advice for Him
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., is a social psychologist, relationship expert, and bestselling and award-winning author. Her books include Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way, and Kylie's Heel, a novel for adults.
Pamela G. Chollet, Ph.D.
Dr. Pamela Chollet has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and Master degrees in educational psychology and fine arts. Her passion has been helping people face and get through those times when they feel trapped and unable to move forward.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D.
Anna Charbonneau, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, stress management expert, and author. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or struggling to make changes in your life, Anna can help.